In your quest to create a new normal you get to lean upon master level, I’m not the one skeelz. You can’t grab a hold of the new new coming your way if you are still clinging to the old. So here are 7 easy rules to help you with the art of letting ish go.
1. Give folk room:
Give people room to show their true colors as well as their accompanying drama package. Which means you get to stop controlling others. Controlling is your way of protecting yourself. How will you be able to truly see them if you don’t give em space?
2. Communicate expectations clearly:
Set expectations and be willing to help if they ask for it or if you can see they’re really trying to meet your expectations. Then step back in your lane. See rule 1 above.
3. Keep score:
Yeah you heard me. You certainly should not tally up n score every misstep or shortcoming. If you find your starting to have a long list on dang near everybody, boo boo they aren’t the problem; you is. Don’t be lookin at Cindy in the back of her head like you ready to yank her blonde weave just because she ate the last M&M pack. There are certain deeds, words or behaviors that are clearly over the line. Count just the big stuff, like spreading a rumor about you or they’re just mad all the got-dang time. So yupper, keep score.
4. Praise publicly:
Praise folk publicly when they are on point or trying hard. I’d even give them leeway if they fall dramatically short when they’re tired, sick or just occasionally off. When you praise them, you reinforce in their minds what is good and acceptable.
5. Stop injecting people:
As kind-hearted, empathetic humans we often make the mistake of injecting our goodness into folk who do not deserve such considerations. Injecting your goodness into inept knuckleheads or monsters is the fastest way to drive yourself insane or drive your new normal into ruin. As sistah Angelou once said, when people tell you who they are, believe em.
6. Reset no more than 3 times:
I once had a roundtable of successful business owners share with me, “If I’ve thought of firing someone three times and I didn’t it has always bit me in the butt.” Difficult folk will just drag you down and constantly pluck your last nerve. Flex your, I’m not the one skeelz and be done. And finally,
7. Do it
Gently and without fanfare let em go with the gentlest of fake smiles. When they hit you up later to reconnect. Reply with, “nah, I’m good.” / PEACE